Clouds of Longing

Painting by Jason Chan

The morning sun is shining yet there is a chill in my bones I cannot shake. I peek through the clouds of longing; searching once more for your presence.  I sledgehammer the wall of your resistance with raining love – but I still gain no entry.  Oh, how my heart pounds when I see your lovely face! My hands would love to caress your cheek and sing my heart’s song to you.  Please don’t go – remain in my sight until the moon climbs into the darkened sky.  My tears raining down from on high have grown a rose garden that shall warm your heart.  I will take flight on our love if you would only let me in.  From the moment I felt your soul’s essence I have sought to unify our hearts.  You are my other – I shall travel down from these clouds – to be unashamed in your presence.  The earth rumbles with my heartache – as you disappear from my sight once more. How long shall I await your return?! I will wait on my cloud of longing – slumbering with peace – the stars my blanket – the moon my laughing pillow.

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Firuh!!

Psalm 102

Hear my prayer, O Lord;

let my cry for help come to you.

Do not hide your face from me

when I am in distress.

Turn your ear to me;

when I call, answer me quickly.

For my days vanish like smoke;

my bones burn like glowing embers.

My heart is blighted and withered like grass;

I forget to eat my food.

Because of my loud groaning

I am reduced to skin and bones.

I am like a desert owl,

like an owl among the ruins.

I lie awake; I have become

like a bird alone on a roof.

All day long my enemies taunt me;

those who rail against me use my name

as a curse.

For I eat ashes as my food

and mingle my drink with tears

because of your great wrath,

for you have taken me up and thrown

me aside.

My days are like the evening shadow;

I wither away like grass.

But you, O Lord, sit enthroned forever;

your renown endures through all generations.

You will arise and have compassion

on Zion,

for it is time to show favor to her;

the appointed time has come.

For her stones are dear to your servants;

her very dust moves them to pity.

The nations will fear the name of the Lord,

all the kings of the earth will revere

your Glory.

For the Lord will rebuild Zion

and appear in his glory.

He will respond to the prayer

of the destitute;

he will not despise their plea.

Let this be written for future generation,

that a people not yet created may

praise the Lord:

“The Lord looked down from his

sanctuary on high,

from heaven he viewed the earth,

to hear the groans of the prisoners

and release those condemned to death.”

So the name of the Lord will be

declared in Zion

and his praise in Jerusalem

when the peoples and the kingdoms

assemble to worship the Lord.

In the course of my life he broke my strength;

he cut short my days.

So I said:

“Do not take me away, O my God,

in the midst of my days;

your years go on through all generations.

In the beginning

you laid the foundations of the earth,

and the heavens are the work of your hands.

They will perish, but you remain;

they will all wear out like a garment.

Like clothing you will change them

and they will be discarded.

But you remain the same,

and your years will never end.

The children of your servants will

live in your presence;

their descendents will be established before you.”